Hey you! Yeah you! You serve no one by hiding your brightly shining light. NO ONE. Ya hear me? So glow it up! Sure, some people have wildly insecure little egos that’ll try to tell others that your light of specialness is “this word” or “that word” or “that insult” or “this insult” but guess what? They’re the darkness. They ARE not capable of killing your light. In fact, the darker they are the more brightly you shine and the more brightly YOU shine, the more courageous other lights feel in letting their light shine brightly in the face of the darkness. So no more excuses! Now go eat up that darkness and shine, shine, SHINE!
Codependent Recovery offers a nice side effect of allowing you to share yourself while at the same time, gaining the courage to be yourself completely even in the face of even an attempted ‘correction.’
Correction of being free to be yourself might look like any of the following:
- You shouldn’t think that way.
- You shouldn’t be that way.
- You shouldn’t feel that way.
- You need to be more ______.
- You need to be less _______.
In this moment, you are as perfect as you are ever going to be. And if you don’t think so, try to be perfeKter in that moment 1.2 seconds ago. :-)
Embrace and accept that while realizing that others are speaking from their own perceptions having nothing to do with you.
Do you help ‘your male friends out’ by calling *other* FEMALES derogatory terms [whore, skank, slag, tramp, flirt, easy, or worse?] (or agreeing with them) even though you are a female? Are you a female and seek for ways to humiliate or oth
If so, you’re engaging in ‘Girl on Girl Crime’ - a most heinous form of bullying and character assassination and especially when using your perceptions of her sexuality or gender as a weapon.
"But she really IS a whore!" you say. "She sleeps with anyone!"
"So what?" I say. You are calling her a name with the intent to express disdain or to shame and humiliate her or to prove you are somehow better. It’s about YOU - not her. It’s YOUR insecurity or feelings of low worth at work here - NOT her. She’s doing her thing and you’re hating it. Stay with it…
What are you hating about it? Are you jealous she’s getting away with ‘something’ you wish you had the courage to do? Are you worried if you don’t jump on the bandwagon and join the bully circus these same guys’ll turn on you? What are YOU getting from this? Because you’re getting something. This is about YOU sweetheart. Not her.
And if you want freedom and genuine happiness [not the temporary endorphin kick your brain’s fed when you yell “Skank” in the hallway…] get honest in examining these feelings that provoke you into desire to humiliate another human being (of your gender). And in getting honest with yourself in examining the root of where they come from… that is most of the battle.
Here are some examples on how to get to the root:
1.) Are you scared your friends will think you’re uncool.
2.) Do you think she’s pretty & have envy of that?
3.) Is she mean to you and you fear you can’t take care of yourself if you do not wear your ‘tough girl’ mask?
4.) Does she not speak to you and you take this as a sign you ARE (your greatest fear) unworthy of attention?
5.) Will calling her names (you think) detract from your own sexual exploits?
The above are ALL based in insecurity of your own self but the good news is that REAL security comes from knowing who you are, accepting who YOU are and forgiving your OWN self for mistakes you think you made. The bad news is that REAL security never comes from calling names or engaging in chaotic destruction of another person which can, incidentally, further breed MORE insecurity in your Secret Place (heart).
Your ego will not tell you you are insecure, though, because your ego’s job is to convince you you DO have the power… Its method is to blame others while protecting you- so, really, YOU are the innocent victim of the ego here. AND you can stop that by being aware of its manifestations; Name-calling, belittling, shaming the OUTSIDE stuff IT would have you believe is causing you pain.
The next part of ‘the battle’ will be when you begin to view her (and others) with compassion BECAUSE of your Self-Inquiry. Then your desire to shame, humiliate, spread rumors about or otherwise emotionally annihilate her will dissolve of its own accord. The ego hasn’t any power in the face of Truth and the Truth - when you get to it - is that it’s been about YOU the entire time. :)
And, of course, if you feel like making amends…start with yourself first. Nothing is to be gained by YOU beating YOU up from operating from the painful innocence of thinking your problem is ‘out there.’
Then to further amend, or to simply show support for this message for the benefit of ALL GIRLS/WOMEN everywhere, share this message.
I love you girls. You’re better than this.
Love, An “EX-Mean Girl” AND “Easy A Target”
I love this Gangaji video because it goes to the very heart of what even the most sincerest of spiritual seekers will ultimately discover: the mind can hijack your discoveries and then use them in furtherance not of your Spirit but of the Ego. And it’s not as tricky as it sounds. It’s quite simple and this is the brilliance of it.
Off the top of my head, I think of non-duality, for example. I remember a time I was in meditation and I watched my thoughts and so I now have an experience of non-duality. So, then, in conversation with someone who says, “This is wrong. And that is correct.” My mind says, to me, “That is wrong. She is living in duality.” I’ve just done duality. I AM Non-duality and this means I encompass even duality; Of course I do.
A better example may be similar relatable experience from this video [that starts at about 16:00 in]. People who beat you over the head for peace, healing, and enlightenment; You know the kind… “Can’t we all just get along?” The ones you wanna ship off to Codependency Class, right? The people who hate conflict so bad they’re willing to extend their time and knowledge of how you should be for your own good. [Yes. YOU’RE own good. They are who is upset because it is for your own good.]
Gangaji calls this Spiritual Fascism. “So just ship your bad thoughts off to the concentration camps, right?” Wars are started in such ways. Internal wars as well as external wars. Even our own lives have examples of when we war for some perfect ideal that resides in our Mind.
I want to be happy and free and peaceful and so I kick my ass when I am not being happy, free, and peaceful [or someone else will, thinking they are doing a great thing]. What’s going on here is now not just an innocent ego…but an even deeper version standing sentry watching your thoughts to insure you are being the ‘right’ kind of person. And when not, “Bad! Bad! Bad!” yells the SuperEgo.
Oh yes. I’ve commented before how brilliant it all is really. SuperEgo is the God ~ and we’re taught it IS God, right? We’re taught to worship the altar of our own shame, fear, and loathing so that we - without hardly realizing it - get back into the game of Mind.
And when this happens, we have lost recognition of the I AM. This video is beautiful and I recommend it for anyone who is called to this Invitation.
I usually put stuff like this on my Facebook page but wanted to share it here because I had quite a bit to say. I hope you love this video! ~Samsara [Facebook]